Camping at Tyler State Park --Part 1

Last week (it was when I started writing this anyway) we camped for six days at Tyler State Park near Tyler, Texas. It was the first time in 22 years since we had been there. I hope it won't be that long before our next visit! 

I say we camped. It was in our motorhome. I always feel guilty calling that camping. The first time we were there, though, we camped in a tent, which sounds more like real camping. It felt more like real camping too. It stormed so badly the first night that we were afraid the tent would blow away. Then our air mattress sprang a leak and went flat during the night. We got a new one the next day at Walmart. Then that one sprang a leak too. But this time the weather cooperated beautifully and our foam beds in the RV can't leak. 

Getting there was an easy hour and a half drive. Getting on the road was a challenge, though. 

Since our truck ac isn't working, we planned to leave early to beat the heat. Amazingly enough we were ready to go by 9:00 a.m. Or I should say we thought we were ready. However, the motor home had other ideas. When John turned the key, nothing happened. It turned out the battery was flat. Apparently, he had accidentally left something turned on for a few days that drained the battery.

At first the charger showed it as full, but then after fiddling with it a little he discovered the charger wasn't attached properly. When it was, it showed the battery was flatter than flat. He kept it on the charger for a while and tried starting it a few more times. Nothing seemed to be happening. We were concerned that the battery might be too far gone. The battery is in an inaccessible place so we didn't know how to take it out and replace it. I wondered if we needed to just give up and unpack the rv. But John was determined and seemed more confident. I texted a few friends to pray. 

connected to the charger

We took a little break to give it more time to charge and then tried again. This time the motor turned part way over but still didn't start. By this time it was about 11:00 a.m. John suggested we have lunch to give it a little more time to charge since it seemed to be improving. After we finished eating it started. 

On the road at last! Despite the delayed start the inside temperature didn't get uncomfortably hot until we were almost there. 

After getting set up--we were in site 212--we went for a little wander around the camping loop.

The site on the right in the background looked a lot like the site we were in the other time we were there. I meant to take a photo, but some other people came and set up there before I got around to it. Then I didn't think it would be quite the same and they might not appreciate it.

There was a long row of fungi in a grassy area. These are just a few of them.

Tyler State Park is a beautiful park with lots of nice trails. I even enjoyed the ones that the trail guide said were challenging.

Our first full day, Monday, we hiked the lakeside trail. The trail guide said it takes an hour and a half. We must have taken the scenic route. It took us almost twice that. 

The first part of the lakeside trail was across the dam (above). There were so many wildflowers on it that John jokingly wondered if it might take us all day just to get across. We did spend quite a while there but the lack of shade helped move me along eventually.

Not a wild flower I know. But still pretty. I assume it is a wild strawberry. 

Stay tuned for the rest of the lakeside trail in the next post.

A good visit and other pleasant surprises

We had a good visit with my Mom yesterday. She was happier and chattier than she has been in years. She even laughed a few times. She rarely smiles, so hearing her laugh was quite a delightful surprise!

She reminisced a lot too. It was amazing. The digital picture frame helped. We got it for her several years ago. She has always enjoyed looking at the photos and occasionally talked about one or two of them when we visited. But never as much as this! It was a regular flood of memories and conversation.

There have been other pleasant surprises the last few weeks, as well. 

One day when I called, she told me about an on-line exercise class that they had done that day. She seemed to really enjoy it. She sounded happy and energetic. And when she told me about how one of the staff members had joked with her about something while they were exercising she even giggled (she never giggles!). 

Later when I texted the owner (KA) to say how much my Mom enjoyed the exercise class she texted back “Lol she’s the only one that participates the whole time.”

Another pleasant surprise was when my Mom told me that she enjoyed watching an old TV show. I don’t know how they managed to get her to watch it. She usually refuses to watch anything on TV. So that was an accomplishment. 

The show was “I Love Lucy.” I remember as a kid it was nearly the only show she was willing to stop house cleaning long enough to sit down and watch with us during the brief 10 months we had a TV. But since she always said it was “ridiculous,” I didn’t think she liked it much. (She often told us kids not to be “ridiculous.” I always got the impression she didn’t like things that were.)

But now she admits liking it. She also told me that she remembers watching it when she baby sat for other people when she was young. Her parents didn't have a TV then so she didn't get to see it at home. (It probably wasn't in reruns then!)

These pleasant surprises help me feel that she is settling in to her new facility and that despite some unpleasant surprises this might be a good place for her after all.

Not like Billie

Friends keep asking me how my Mom is doing.

I’m not always sure how best to answer that.

She is in her new assisted living facility. 

Her ankle is healed but she mostly doesn't walk.

Apart from that, things are definitely up and down. Occasionally she seems almost happy. But most days she’s down and nothing is ok.

It feels like we're on an emotional rollercoaster ride. I don’t like roller coasters, emotional or otherwise.

A couple of weeks ago during one particularly stressful visit with my Mom, she paused in her litany of complaints about her new assisted living facility, looked down, and softly said, “It's not like Billie… She took such good care of me.”

It hit me later, of course she is still grieving losing Billie.

I am too.

I'll try to write more soon... But even writing about it all feels too stressful right now.

Flooring Follow up

It's been just over a year since I wrote my Feb 28, 2020 post "New flooring in the Works."

So, you may be wondering, did we do it? Did we get new flooring? 

Yes, partly. In September 2020 we put vinyl plank flooring in the kitchen. 

I wanted to try it in the kitchen first to see if I liked it well enough to use it in the living room and hallway too. I'm glad we did, because I don't. 

I chose a medium brown wood grain vinyl plank that nearly matches the brown carpet in the living room and hallway. I hoped that having a continuous brown color through the kitchen-living room-hallway loop would look more harmonious than the old white tile in the kitchen did next to the brown carpet of the hallway and living room. It gave things a chopped up appearance. 

Here is a before photo. The funny little blocks of wood under the table and table legs are because these chairs are too tall for me, especially with this table. I got a pain in my neck until we lifted it up. We later got a shorter chair for me. (I have short legs and a tall torso) 

Another factor in the color choice was how it would look with the kitchen cabinets. And with the living room furniture and the hearth in case we put it in there later. The kitchen cabinets are warm white but most of the wooden furniture in our living room is dark brown. I wanted the flooring to provide contrast with those. And look compatible with the brown brick hearth. The upholstered items in the living room are light (white couch and beige love seat and recliners). So medium brown contrasted with everything.

We got lots of samples. We even bought a full box of a couple that seemed promising. The supplier for the one we ended up using didn't seem open to that idea and we didn't push for it for some reason. I wish now we had. But anyway...

We looked at almost enough samples to cover the floor with!

The three top choices. The bottom one is the one we ended up using. It's  called: TOUCHDOWN SPC CLIC W/PAD 7X48 MEREDITH, Natural Tones is the color name. The manufacturer is Southwind. We bought it from Ideal Floors--a local company.

We installed it ourselves. Installing it was not as easy as YouTube videos make it seem, however. Not at first anyway. I went from thinking, "We can do this!" to thinking, "This was a mistake!! We need a professional!" Maybe it was harder because we went with a cheaper brand of plank. But it was definitely harder than everyone says it is to learn to fit the planks together so that the ends and sides both lock together at once and lay flat. We weren't just being perfectionistic. If you don't get it right then it won't work and you have to undo it back to the plank that isn't right and redo it until it fits.

It was a good workout. By that I mean for the first few days my legs were so sore I could barely move. It's a good thing we mainly worked on it in the evenings when my husband was off work. Thankfully after several days, all that squatting down and getting up again started to feel almost easy. Maybe we aren't too old to do the the living room and hallway ourselves after all.

It was a patience and communication work out too! --"What are you doing??!!" "No, not like that!" "That's not what I said!" "That's not what I meant!" "Why'd you do it like that??!" "Let me try!!" Thankfully we eventually progressed to, "Yes, that's the way." "Yay. It worked" and, "Good job!"

In case you are wondering, the stack of planks on the right appears to be one of the sample boxes of another plank we considered. 

At about this point we discovered that the floor wasn't level enough. 

That added several more days to the job. 

John ordered a laser leveling device* to help figure out how bad it was and where it needed to be filled in. Sorry I don't have a photo of him using it. He also used this piece of base board, post-it notes and a "sharpy" to mark the low places

He used Simpleprep pre-mixed floor patch material to fill in the low places

The whisk broom was in nearly constant use. The planks tend to shed flakes whenever they are cut. And they would not fit together if those or other particles of dust or dirt got in the grooves where they lock together. (A hand held vac might have worked better but we didn't have one.)

Moving the fridge and stove was a little tricky. We rolled the stove onto a large sheet of cardboard when we needed to move it across the vinyl planking. I don't remember if we did the same for the fridge.

Done at last! I put an old white vinyl table cover over the table because the wood grain top of the table was too much wood grain in combination with the floor and all the other wood grain counter tops.

Current photo. With a new table cloth to cover the woodgrain table top and a shorter chair for me--it is second (third, fourth?) hand and needs new paint and a new seat cover. 

So how do I like it?

Not very well, I'm sorry to say. 

When we first started installing it I really liked the color. But now I don't. I still don't know for sure what I would like. But I don't think this is it. Maybe I will eventually get used to it. But we've had it several months and I haven't yet. (Though, oddly enough, as I have been working on this article I am starting to feel a little less negative about it.)

I don't like the rough grooved texture or the dull finish or the light/medium brown color or the streaky fake wood pattern. That's a lot not to like. Sorry to be so negative. 

It hides the dirt too well. You might think that would be a plus. But I don't. I can't tell when it needs to be cleaned or when I have cleaned it enough. When I do spot some dirt the texture sometimes makes it hard to clean off. It is supposed to be water "proof" but I am afraid to use a lot of water on it. (Maybe if I cleaned it more often the dirt would come off easier and I would learn which streaks are meant to be there!?)  

The old floor was so badly damaged and worn that I couldn't tell the difference after I cleaned it. It looked dirty all the time. That was another reason why I wanted to replace it. The new floor is not damaged and worn like the old floor was, but I still can't tell much difference after I clean it. There is little sense of accomplishment. It just looks and feels dull and dirty all the time. I guess in my mind kitchen floors should be shiny and clean looking.

It also doesn't look good next to the carpet in the hallway and living room. The carpet is worn and stained and the finishes are different. Also there is a gold metal strip between the carpet and vinyl planking that is distracting. My husband sort of obscured some of it with the brown colored caulking he used to seal around the perimeter of the new plank flooring but it still doesn't look right. Of course these issues would partly go away if and when we get new carpet. Or if we extend the vinyl planking into the halls and living room. 

So I am glad we only did the kitchen. And since we did it ourselves it was much cheaper. We also used a plank that was much less expensive so we are only out about $470 for the whole thing. Which is not trivial but much less than it might have been. And since it is a floating floor it will be easier to remove if we decide to change it. At least physically easy. I'm sure my husband will not feel good about it so I will feel badly for his sake if nothing else. 

*Laser Level, RockSeed 50 Feet Cross Line Laser with Self-Leveling, Vertical and Horizontal Line

Christmas at Lake Tawakoni

Christmas 2020 was definitely different for us--not only in the way it was for everyone else. 

Since we weren't able to take our hoped for two week vacation in November, we decided to go away in our RV over Christmas week. 

We chose Lake Tawakoni State Park partly because it was one of the few places that still had availability and partly because it was only an hour's drive from the nursing home where my Mom was staying for rehab following ankle surgery.

The poinsettia plant in the photo above right is one we got to take to her.  We bought it ahead of time and the only place it fit in the RV was on the dash. I enjoyed the cheerful splash of color. I hoped it would cheer her a little. It helped me get into a more festive holiday mood, anyway. 

It had been a difficult two months leading up to Christmas. 

For several years my 86 year old Mom, who has Parkinson's, lived with her caregiver, Billie, and Billie's husband in their home.  They have cared for many people in their home over the years like my Mom who needed a high level of care. Billie was such a good caregiver I hoped, and prayed, I would never have to find another place for my Mom to live. 

Sunday, November 1st I got a frantic call from Billie saying that my Mom had fallen and twisted her ankle. Billie was worried that it was broken. 

Billie called a mobile x-ray unit. They came the next morning and confirmed that it was fractured. 

We called 911. The paramedics took her to the ER. When she arrived they checked her temperature. It was 99.9 so they did a Covid test. It came back positive! I was stunned. So, in addition to having a broken ankle she also had Covid-19! 

It probably should not have been a huge surprise since Billie and her husband had been sick for a few days. They didn't know what they had but this tipped us all off that it was likely Covid-19 since that was seemingly the only way my Mom could have gotten it. They did get tested after my Mom was diagnosed, but test results from the free clinic they went to took several days.  

Billie wore a lot of PPE when she first got sick to try and protect my Mom and the other lady, but it obviously didn't completely work. Though it may have helped my Mom to not get a severe case of it.

The virus seems to have been brought into the home by the son of the other lady they were caring for. He apparently visited just at the start of his illness but since he didn't "believe in" Covid he refused to get tested. The whole household including his own mother ended up testing positive for Covid-19 (we heard later that she had a mild case). Even his own housemate got it.

Billie was determined to keep caring for my Mom but by the end of the week Billie was having trouble breathing and had to go to the hospital. Testing at the hospital confirmed she did have Covid-19 and pneumonia in both of her lungs caused by Covid. Her husband also had Covid and needed to be hospitalized. 

My Mom and the other lady they cared for had to be evacuated. Billie's daughter  helped bring my Mom to our house. She also came back a few times to show us how to do diaper changes. I assure you it is much harder to change an adult than it is a baby! 

We hired two, brave, part-time caregivers from an agency to help with her care.  They were the only ones the agency had available who were willing to risk caring for a Covid positive patient. I am so thankful for them. We could not have handled it without their help!

She needed a lot of care. In addition to all of her usual high level of care needs, she was of course non-weight bearing on her ankle which meant she was bed bound. She also had diarrhea. We don't know if it was from the Covid or from the antibiotic the ER doctor prescribed for some unknown reason. But whatever the cause it made things even more difficult for everyone, including her.

After eight days at our house we were finally able to take her to see the orthopedic surgeon. We couldn't get her in sooner than that due to her positive Covid test. Even the morning of the appointment the surgeon's staff called to say she couldn't come. But I insisted that since it was 14 days from her positive Covid test and she was not having symptoms or fever we were going to bring her! After waiting for two hours in the waiting room we finally got to see the doctor. He took one look at her x-ray and demanded to know why we didn't bring her in sooner! He scheduled surgery for the very next day! 

Surgery went well. He was able to put the bones back together despite it having been so long since the break. It took a lot of hardware to hold it together--screws and plates of various kinds--but that was due to the complexity of the break not the delay.

After that we tried to get her into a rehab facility that we have heard good things about. They said she could come but first they wanted her to be retested for Covid. 

The orthopedic hospital didn't have the ability to process the test themselves so it took a few days to get the results. I spent most of every day at the hospital that week. 

Friday morning I arrived to discover a large yellow warning device on the door to her room. When I went inside, the room was empty. Even the bed was gone.

The test was positive! And she had been immediately whisked into their isolation room. I wasn't allowed to see her and they ended up banning me from the building because I had spent so much time with her that week. Thankfully my husband had not already driven away after dropping me off so I was able to wait in the car for a while until we decided what to do and where she should go.

The rehab facility we were hoping she could go to wouldn't take her after all as they didn't have space available in their Covid unit.

The hospital social worker said we could take her home with us. But we didn't feel up to that. He found another rehab/nursing home that had a Covid unit that had space available.  He assured me it was a "five star" facility. I don't know what that rating was based on. But based on my Mom's several weeks there I would give them several blots! NOT stars!

Meanwhile we spent a lot of time trying to find another assisted living home for her to go to after she was done with rehab. We prayed that Billie and her husband would recover and be able to care for her again. But we knew that it might be a few months at best before they would be up to that even if they did make a full recovery. 

It was difficult to find an assisted living home near us that could handle her care needs and was willing to risk taking her without a negative Covid test or two. The rehab facility followed the CDC guidelines that said that people should not be retested until 90 days after their first positive test as retests often come back positive even when the patient is no longer considered contagious. But assisted living facilities still wanted a retest before admitting her. And most insisted it had to be negative no matter what. 

We did find a couple of facilities that said they would take her even with a positive test but they said they would keep her in quarantine if it was. 

We chose one of them. (In the end they were willing to take her even without her being retested.) We put a deposit down on it in early December to hold the room until she could leave the rehab facility. 

We felt that she needed to stay at the rehab facility for a little longer since we thought the therapist was doing a good job, even though we weren't very pleased with some other aspects of her care. 

I was sad that she had to be there over Christmas. But I was glad that I, at least, could visit her. The first twenty days she was there she was not allowed visitors. After she moved out of the Covid unit and into a regular room she was allowed one visitor for one pre-scheduled hour per week. I was also required to prove that I had tested negative for Covid within the previous two weeks. 

I scheduled my visit that week for Christmas Eve morning. John drove me there. On the way there we amused ourselves by singing Christmas carols. I looked up the lyrics on-line. It was fun especially to sing some of the older carols our church never sings, like "Once in Royal David's City."

We arrived in good time and I went through the usual screening before they escorted me back to her room.

She was glad to see me of course.

She liked the poinsettia plant, too. 
 The pop-up nativity scene in the right corner of the photo was our card to her. I love pop-up cards! They bring out the kid in me. It was also a fun reminder of what Christmas is really about.

The next day was Christmas. My brother came out to the park to celebrate with us. It was the first time we had been together since March. John made chicken fajitas and apple crisp for our non-traditional, but still delicious, Christmas dinner. 

Apple crisp. We ate it with vanilla ice cream and homemade caramel sauce.

After lunch we went for a walk down to the lake. We also watched our church's delightful children's Christmas play

After dark we went looking for the "Christmas Star." As you may have heard the 2020 "Christmas Star" differed from the original one in that it was an alignment  of Saturn and Jupiter, whereas the original is thought to have been an alignment of Saturn and Venus. 

The best night to see the 2020 version was supposed to be December 21st. So we were several days past the main event. But my brother said that the planets would still be visible just not as closely aligned. 

John and I did try to see it on the 22nd. But since they were no longer aligned we didn't realize we were in fact seeing Saturn and Jupiter. We thought they were two stars. So Christmas night we showed him what we had seen. He confirmed that it was in fact Saturn and Jupiter. Here they are as they were on Christmas night--obviously no longer aligned!

The first part of the week we spent a lot of time exploring the park. Here are some pictures from that:

Moss on tree branches looking almost floral

Fungi covered stump fascinates me as usual

We watched this deer for some time. I took numerous photos. Then just when it stepped onto the path a few yards from John, I pressed the shutter for what I was sure would be best photo of all--the deer and John in the same frame--and then my camera stopped and gave an "empty battery" message!
It had started warning me the battery was low earlier in the morning but I ignored it. Lesson learned--as soon as my camera starts to give me a low battery warning I will change to a fresh one!

This cute little bird photo and the one below I extracted from videos on John's camera. He accidentally pushed the video button when he was trying to take photos. These were from some of the inadvertent video portion.

I found myself fascinated by paths on this trip. I took nearly 2 dozen photos of them. There was something about them that tugged at me. 

This one looked completely blocked and like we should just turn around and go back.

 

But when we got up to what looked like an impassible barrier we discovered that the path took a turn to the left and so we could keep going after all.

 

It's sort of a like life lately. Maybe that was part of why I was was stirred by them. Our personal path has gone a way that we never imagined and didn't want. I didn't know what was ahead. Stopping or turning around wasn't really an option. I just had to keep moving ahead, hoping for better things around the next bend. 

As a Christian, I do believe that this life is not all there is. The next life with God will be better by far so I have hope for the future. But this life sometimes goes in a way that is hard to accept. 

On December 26th, Billie's path took a turn that none of us wanted. Her daughter texted to say that her Mom had "transitioned to Glory." We were stunned. I still have a hard time accepting it. 

I believe she is with Jesus. She was a strong Christian. As Paul the Apostle said, to be with Jesus is better by far. But he also said he was torn between going to heaven and staying on earth to be a blessing to others. 

I believe that is how Billie felt. Her life was all about serving Jesus and caring for others. Even when she was in the hospital and struggling to breath she was still thinking about what my Mom needed and telling her daughter things to tell us about my Mom's care. 

Her husband is home now and is over Covid. But of course he is really missing his wife! And the rest of the family also feels bereft without her.

BILLIE SANDRA (LEWIS) WALKER
October 7, 1943 ~ December 26, 2020 (age 77)

On January 9th we moved my Mom into her new assisted living home. She seems to be getting reasonable care. The change has been a shock, though. Billie definitely spoiled us! 

No one can replace her.