Getting off the worry train

Today I read a blog post about worry and anxiety. In it the author described a series of events that led up to her having had her first panic attack this Thanksgiving. She shared how she was finally able to process the events that led to it and get on top of the anxiety that had built up. She had questions for reflection at the end of the article.

One of the questions was what stood out to me as I read her story. What stood out to me was how she sometimes seemed to take on burdens of anxiety that were not really her’s to bear, for example she was very anxious that one of her daughters would feel ashamed if they didn’t pass their driving test and the other one did. She was also getting caught up with all those pesky “what if” questions—“what if” this happens or “what if” that happens.

I sometimes do the same things. I’m trying to learn not to, but I worry sometimes over how my husband, mother, brother, Mom’s caregiver, to name a few, will feel if “x” does or doesn’t happen. I cannot control their feelings. I am responsible only for my actions not how they feel about them. I am certainly not responsible for their feelings about what someone else does or doesn’t do! Being anxious for others doesn’t help them and it can lead to me behaving in ways that are counter-productive.

I’m learning that it is best to ask them how they feel and not assume I know because of how I would feel in their situation. Asking gives them a chance to talk about it which really can be helpful if they are upset. Sometimes, I discover that my anxiety for them is, even more than usually, unnecessary because they aren’t even upset about the thing I thought they were.

Sunday, I found myself starting to feel anxious and upset for my husband because of a particular turn of events in a ministry he is newly involved in. I realized what I was doing, that I was taking on anxiety that wasn’t mine to bear, so I asked him how he felt about the situation and discovered he wasn’t upset at all. In fact, he was relieved! I’m thankful I asked before I got any more caught up in worry and catastrophizing on his behalf!

Worry really zaps my energy. After reading the article I realized that I was letting a whole lot of those pesky “what if” thoughts distract me from things that I needed to do today. Things that really are my responsibility and that I can do.

I’m thankful I was able realize it and derail the worry train so I could get on board the “glory train” of getting things done and having peace and joy again.

Vacation Part 3- Caprock Canyon Day 2 - Eagle Point Trail

Caprock Canyon State Park, Oct 2, Tuesday, Day two 2018 vaca,

Tuesday morning, our first full day at Caprock Canyon, when I stepped outside I was surprised and amused to see these tell-tale signs of a nocturnal visitor--little paw prints on one of our lounge chairs and plastic bin/side table--

Maybe he could smell the scent from the grapes and cheese we enjoyed on our 'patio' Monday evening. He must have a good nose because we cleaned up every crumb and also had a citronella candle burning to keep the mosquitoes at bay.

We decided to hike the 2 mile Eagle Point Trail. Since it was rated moderately difficult, John, my kind (and fit) husband, drove our car and parked it near the trail-head at the other end to spare me the 4 mile round trip. Then he hiked back on the trail to our campsite.

We set out around 10:00 a.m.. We had a slow start as of course we had to stop and take photos of the monarch butterflies and flowers along the side of the road before reaching the beginning of the trail.

The trail was not difficult at all. The only difficulty being to not spend all day photographing the beautiful and interesting things there were to see

A close up of the little purple flowers shown in the foreground of the above photo.

These white layers are calcium carbonate deposits, also called caliche.
According to Wikipedia calcium carbonate is the main component of pearls. You probably can’t tell from the photos, but that would explain why the pieces we picked up sparkled and shimmered in the light.

Caliche is a major part of what creates the huge spectacular scenery of the canyon.

Close up of caliche crystals that were forming while they were buried under the dirt.

Here a large deposit of caliche has been carved out with water to create this pool.
Caliche resists erosion so it must have taken some time.
The water is so clear you can see all the way to the bottom.

A brochure said this was broken open from tourists standing on it. That's a shame but it is nice to be able to see inside.

We didn't see bison on this hike but we did see wildlife.

We saw a couple of lizards. This one is, I believe, an Eastern Collared Lizard. It was about 9-12 inches including the tail.

About halfway we stopped for a rest. While we were eating our snacks I noticed an insect that kept flying back to the same tiny hole in the ground (we were in the only part of the trail without a gorgeous view so the only thing to look at was the ground!)  Each time it came back, it paused to peer in briefly and then it climbed down into the hole and disappeared. A few seconds later it came out again and quickly flew away. I wondered what it was doing and if it was taking anything into or out of the hole. After watching it several times I pointed it out to John. He took these, very zoomed in, photos to see. When it came out again it always flew away too quickly to get a photo. So he took this video as well. On looking at the video it appears to be carrying a clump of dirt in its “hands.” I'm guess it was digging the hole and didn't want to have a mound of dirt next to the hole to draw attention to it. Since it always came back very quickly, it seems like it must have just been dropping the dirt randomly rather than taking it to a particular place.

Here it is pausing to check before climbing in

Here is a very brief video of the little insect coming out of the hole holding what looks like a clump of dirt (the only way i could make the video play was to make a youtube video of it and include it here. Unfortunately being youtube it will then show you some other random video it thinks you might want to see next. It won't play it unless you click on it. If you want to see the insect video again you have to hit the refresh button.)

We reached the "natural bridge"at the end of the trail about two hours after starting--that included many stops to observe, take pictures, and occasionally rest.

John climbed down to the "bridge." The trail goes over the top of this. It was quite a climb to where he is here so i just got far enough to take this photo. We neither one felt like crawling through to the other side.