A good visit and other pleasant surprises

We had a good visit with my Mom yesterday. She was happier and chattier than she has been in years. She even laughed a few times. She rarely smiles, so hearing her laugh was quite a delightful surprise!

She reminisced a lot too. It was amazing. The digital picture frame helped. We got it for her several years ago. She has always enjoyed looking at the photos and occasionally talked about one or two of them when we visited. But never as much as this! It was a regular flood of memories and conversation.

There have been other pleasant surprises the last few weeks, as well. 

One day when I called, she told me about an on-line exercise class that they had done that day. She seemed to really enjoy it. She sounded happy and energetic. And when she told me about how one of the staff members had joked with her about something while they were exercising she even giggled (she never giggles!). 

Later when I texted the owner (KA) to say how much my Mom enjoyed the exercise class she texted back “Lol she’s the only one that participates the whole time.”

Another pleasant surprise was when my Mom told me that she enjoyed watching an old TV show. I don’t know how they managed to get her to watch it. She usually refuses to watch anything on TV. So that was an accomplishment. 

The show was “I Love Lucy.” I remember as a kid it was nearly the only show she was willing to stop house cleaning long enough to sit down and watch with us during the brief 10 months we had a TV. But since she always said it was “ridiculous,” I didn’t think she liked it much. (She often told us kids not to be “ridiculous.” I always got the impression she didn’t like things that were.)

But now she admits liking it. She also told me that she remembers watching it when she baby sat for other people when she was young. Her parents didn't have a TV then so she didn't get to see it at home. (It probably wasn't in reruns then!)

These pleasant surprises help me feel that she is settling in to her new facility and that despite some unpleasant surprises this might be a good place for her after all.

Not like Billie

Friends keep asking me how my Mom is doing.

I’m not always sure how best to answer that.

She is in her new assisted living facility. 

Her ankle is healed but she mostly doesn't walk.

Apart from that, things are definitely up and down. Occasionally she seems almost happy. But most days she’s down and nothing is ok.

It feels like we're on an emotional rollercoaster ride. I don’t like roller coasters, emotional or otherwise.

A couple of weeks ago during one particularly stressful visit with my Mom, she paused in her litany of complaints about her new assisted living facility, looked down, and softly said, “It's not like Billie… She took such good care of me.”

It hit me later, of course she is still grieving losing Billie.

I am too.

I'll try to write more soon... But even writing about it all feels too stressful right now.