Not like Billie

Friends keep asking me how my Mom is doing.

I’m not always sure how best to answer that.

She is in her new assisted living facility. 

Her ankle is healed but she mostly doesn't walk.

Apart from that, things are definitely up and down. Occasionally she seems almost happy. But most days she’s down and nothing is ok.

It feels like we're on an emotional rollercoaster ride. I don’t like roller coasters, emotional or otherwise.

A couple of weeks ago during one particularly stressful visit with my Mom, she paused in her litany of complaints about her new assisted living facility, looked down, and softly said, “It's not like Billie… She took such good care of me.”

It hit me later, of course she is still grieving losing Billie.

I am too.

I'll try to write more soon... But even writing about it all feels too stressful right now.