Friday, May 30, 2008

now I'm worried about the last post :-(.

Most people said nice and helpful things when my dad died.

Maybe i'm too paranoid to write a blog.

I feel so depressed.

It started yesterday after I said something dumb at a funeral to the bereaved husband.

It's the sort of lame-brained thing that well meaning but misguided people said to me after my Dad died. It took me years to forgive some of them. I only hope that X is more forgiving or forgetful than I was.

It would have been better if I had just kept my mouth shut.

This morning I sent him a note to apologize and hopefully offer more appropriate words of sympathy.

I thought sending the note would help me get over it and move on. Unfortunately I've now moved on to being depressed about other stuff (& I haven't gotten over it yet.)

Maybe it's partly hormones... but at the moment what I really want is to eat chocolate and watch Pride and Prejudice (the one w/Colin Firth as Darcy)

I know there are more useful things I could be doing-- email a friend, take a shower, write something profoundly spiritual on my blog... But to be honest if I had a functional dvd player I would already be watching P&P instead of writing this.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

"It is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace" Hebrews 13:9

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Quieted with His Love

Zephaniah 3:17 has been a theme the last few days.

Tuesday night at small group, "D" shared how God seems to be highlighting it for him. Sunday morning before church he was reading it quietly to himself. A friend walked up and said he had a verse for D. It was Zephaniah 3:17--the very thing that D had just been reading!

I remember now that D also read it out to the rest of us later that morning during the church service. At the time I thought it was encouraging, but then I forgot about it.

This morning when I woke up at 3:30 am and couldn't go back to sleep I decided to write down all the things I was worried about. As I was writing in my journal I looked over at the facing page and saw this printed at the bottom:

"The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:17

hmm... I think God is trying to tell me something.

I sure have needed God to quiet my worry filled thoughts. But how? What does it mean that he will quiet me with His love? I think it starts with remembering and trusting that He loves me and that I can trust Him with the things I am worried about.

Any other ideas out there?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Who's Calling Please?

"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it."(Hebrews 13:2)
I read this verse yesterday and it reminded me of my crabby way of answering the phone Monday. (See "Midnight Musings").

I don't know if I've ever gotten a call from an angel. But I do get calls from strangers. In fact since we don't have caller ID everyone qualifies.

God please help me to answer as if each caller could be an angel. They are at least people for whom you died.

Unless it's a recording. I don't have to be nice to those! :-)

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Daddy would have been 72 today (May 19)

Midnight Musings

Today I was such a crab. I used to hate it when my Mom turned on her sweet voice to answer the phone even while in the middle of scolding me. I always thought it was so hypocritical. I promised myself I would never do that.

But today I started thinking I need to work on my "sweet voice".

I got two important calls and both times I answered sounding like a grouch. Sigh.

And that was after I read an article by Vincent M. Newfield about being a sweet fragrance (2 Corinthians 2:14, 15)

Lord please forgive me for the times my attitude gives off a bad smell instead of a sweet frangrance. Thank you for helping me to get better as I went along.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Domestic Therapy

"Mondays are not good writing days." So says Anne Lamott in, "Bird by Bird--Some Instructions on Writing and Life."

What a relief. And I thought it was just me and my fearful, worrying, stinky attitude that was the trouble...

The first half of today I spent fretting, praying, feeling generally miserable and trying to write anyway. I did manage to eke out a little.

The afternoon was much better. Mixed in with writing a report for work, I made a pan of cornbread and a big pot of beans to freeze in little containers for later. After dinner while my husband worked outside, I baked up some chocolate chip cookie dough and took the still warm cookies to him. (He didn't seem to mind the interruption :-). And since he was almost out of 409 I made a quick trip to Walgreen's on my way to the library.

I guess you could call it domestic therapy.

On the way home I saw the most gorgeous full moon too. I wish I had gotten a picture. But this picture of my husband with Chloe and Sonya is nearly as nice! Sonya jumped off as soon as she was done eating, but Chloe stayed a bit longer. This is progress, but I have hope that eventually they'll get on his lap even without being bribed!

Oh I almost forgot, I also harvested my first squash! It's the little things that excite me :-)

A Timely Word

PSALM 34: 3-4 "Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together. I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears."

This verse was in an email I got today. It really hit the spot! Thanks Lisa :-).

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Something to celebrate

Friday night the waitress asked me if I have children. I shook my head, feeling embarrassed and wanting to disappear. I had hoped to avoid such reminders of that when I planned this weekend away. After an awkward pause the waitress finished with, "well have a nice weekend anyway."

Later I thought, I should have said, "no, but I have my mother still and that is something to celebrate!"

I know I can't really escape the day. Even if I went to a far away place where they don't celebrate Mother's Day, I would still remember.

Of course I don't really want to escape remembering my Mother and the other women who have blessed my life. I have to choose to focus on what I do have to be thankful for rather than what I don't have.

So this morning I suggested we spend some time thanking God for our mothers and praying for them. We do have much to celebrate: loving mothers who faithfully cared for us as we grew up and still give of themselves in many ways; both of them are still living; both of them love God and did their best to help us to know him too.

I also celebrate the other women in my life who have nurtured me over the years. Even friends my own age. Mothering is primarily about nurturing others and helping them grow into the people God intended. We can all do that for each other.

Monday, May 5, 2008

What's Cooking?

We were recently blessed with a large #10 size can of artichoke hearts. So tonight I made Artichoke Bruschetta - yum. This is my second time to make it. This time we had it with hummus on sourdough toast.

Here's where I found the recipe for the bruschetta.

I like this brusch. recipe partly because it is very low in fat and still quite tasty. It's easy to make and doesn't need to be broiled on top ahead of time, like brusch. usually does. To keep the toast from going soggy, I put the brusch. mixture in a bowl on the table, toasted a few slices of bread in our toaster oven; and we constructed our own as we wanted them. The left-over brusch. mixture can be refrigerated and eaten later.

This time we also first spread hummus on the toast and then the bruschetta on top of that. (the hummus I made from a box mix. It was really easy and good too.) It made a nice light meal. We had fruit to finish it off.

The first time I made it we didn't have it with hummus. We just put it on the toast and sprinkled parmesan on top. It was good as a side with soup.

We forgot to use the parmesan cheese this time, but it was still good.

During dinner, H. brought up the subject of food shortages around the world. He wondered what we should do in response. I had heard that rice is more expensive, but didn't know much else.

So I did a little research. Here's one article (among many) that I found on the subject.

It does seem to be a serious and complex problem. Let's pray about how God might want us to respond. Feel free to leave comments with your suggestions. :-)