L. M. Montgomery and perseverance

I recently read Lucy Maud Montgomery’s autobiography, “The Alpine Path: the Story of My Career.” It is the delightful, if too brief, story of her growing up years and how she became the world famous author of “Anne of Green Gables” as well as many other short stories, novels and poems.

Montgomery’s honesty, humility and self-deprecating humor became apparent from the introduction. In it she wrote of her bemused wonder when she was asked by an editor to write the story of her career. “My career? Had I a career? Was not—should not—a ‘career’ be something splendid, wonderful, spectacular at the very least, something varied and exciting. Could my long uphill struggle, through many quiet, uneventful years, be termed a ‘career’?”

But she wrote it anyway, partly because, she said, she had got into the habit of trying to please editors. She also hoped to encourage, "some other toiler who is struggling along in the weary pathway" she once trod.

One of the things I found encouraging is how she found ways to keep up with her writing even when it was challenging. While teaching school one year she found she was too tired to write in the evenings after teaching all day so instead she started getting up every morning at 6:00 a.m. to write. Since the heating fires were not lit that early, the big old farmhouse where she was staying was so cold she had to wear her coat and sit on her feet to keep them from freezing. Her fingers got so stiff from the cold she could hardly hold her pen. But she was determined.

In 1901 she worked for several months as a "newspaper woman." She started out as “proof-reader and general handy-man.” Each afternoon after the paper went to press she also answered the phone and did other clerical jobs and more proof-reading. Quite a lot of other writing and editing assignments were added to that as well. It’s hard to imagine she had a spare moment to think.

But, somehow, she managed to fit in a little writing of her own. She didn’t have the time or energy to write at home in the evenings or before work in the mornings. That just left during the day at work. Before that she thought she could only write when there was silence and uninterrupted peace. But since there was no other alternative and she was determined to write she made herself try. She was surprised to discover that despite the noise, tumult and frequent interruptions of the busy newspaper office she was able to write after all. So between her work assignments she took any and every spare moment to write. She was even able to produce things that were good enough to be accepted for publication by a few magazines.

I’ve also been making writing more of a priority in my schedule. I try to make it one of the first things I do in the morning when I usually have the most energy. If I wait until all my other chores are done then I’m too tired. It’s interesting how this approach not only gives me more energy but also helps me manage the rest of my day better. So I am getting more done and feeling better physically too. Not every day works that well. But enough do that it encourages me to keep going with it.

LMM’s experience with the newspaper office also encourages me that even in situations that don’t fit my ideal I still will be able to write if I really try. Particularly I’m thinking about when we are traveling. We are currently in the early stages of planning a long RV trip around the USA later this year. One worry I have about the trip is that I’ll lose my momentum and stop writing. I do hope to blog about the trip but I know from past experience that writing while traveling is hard. When I give myself the option to not write if it seems too hard then I usually stop writing. Maybe I need to remember Montgomery's example and at least try even when I don't think I can.

But of course

As I should have expected, this week I have been wrestling with believing and accepting God’s grace and forgiveness about some past sins. It even took me a little while to see the irony. Here I had just given a talk at our ladies breakfast about that very thing: accepting God’s grace by faith. And here I was not heeding my own exhortations. I certainly believed them, that was why I gave the talk in the first place. But then I somehow lost sight of the truth again.

Yes, I too need to really believe and remember again that my performance and (non-existent) perfection are not what I am trusting in. I can never be good enough or perform well enough to pay for my own sins and be accepted by God. It is only my faith in God’s grace and the forgiveness that Jesus bought for me on the cross that saves me.

But what about “x” sin? Does he really forgive that? Besides I’m not supposed to be that messed up. I shouldn’t need grace in that area!

Huh??!! Wow that’s pretty crazy!! I didn’t know I was that delusional.

I don’t think it is just a case of seriously delusional self-righteousness, though. It is also something of a realization of how sinful sin is. But of course it is. It really is that bad. That’s why Jesus died! To save sinners just like me. If our sins were no big deal to God then Jesus would not have gone through all that! But he did for me and all of us and I can believe it and apply it to my sins too! All of them! No matter how embarrassing or stupid. All of them. He has removed them as far as the east is from the west. Thank you God!

“He does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”
Psalm 103:10-12