now I'm worried about the last post :-(.
Most people said nice and helpful things when my dad died.
Maybe i'm too paranoid to write a blog.
Friday, May 30, 2008
I feel so depressed.
It started yesterday after I said something dumb at a funeral to the bereaved husband.
It's the sort of lame-brained thing that well meaning but misguided people said to me after my Dad died. It took me years to forgive some of them. I only hope that X is more forgiving or forgetful than I was.
It would have been better if I had just kept my mouth shut.
This morning I sent him a note to apologize and hopefully offer more appropriate words of sympathy.
I thought sending the note would help me get over it and move on. Unfortunately I've now moved on to being depressed about other stuff (& I haven't gotten over it yet.)
Maybe it's partly hormones... but at the moment what I really want is to eat chocolate and watch Pride and Prejudice (the one w/Colin Firth as Darcy)
I know there are more useful things I could be doing-- email a friend, take a shower, write something profoundly spiritual on my blog... But to be honest if I had a functional dvd player I would already be watching P&P instead of writing this.
It's the sort of lame-brained thing that well meaning but misguided people said to me after my Dad died. It took me years to forgive some of them. I only hope that X is more forgiving or forgetful than I was.
It would have been better if I had just kept my mouth shut.
This morning I sent him a note to apologize and hopefully offer more appropriate words of sympathy.
I thought sending the note would help me get over it and move on. Unfortunately I've now moved on to being depressed about other stuff (& I haven't gotten over it yet.)
Maybe it's partly hormones... but at the moment what I really want is to eat chocolate and watch Pride and Prejudice (the one w/Colin Firth as Darcy)
I know there are more useful things I could be doing-- email a friend, take a shower, write something profoundly spiritual on my blog... But to be honest if I had a functional dvd player I would already be watching P&P instead of writing this.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Quieted with His Love
Zephaniah 3:17 has been a theme the last few days.
Tuesday night at small group, "D" shared how God seems to be highlighting it for him. Sunday morning before church he was reading it quietly to himself. A friend walked up and said he had a verse for D. It was Zephaniah 3:17--the very thing that D had just been reading!
I remember now that D also read it out to the rest of us later that morning during the church service. At the time I thought it was encouraging, but then I forgot about it.
This morning when I woke up at 3:30 am and couldn't go back to sleep I decided to write down all the things I was worried about. As I was writing in my journal I looked over at the facing page and saw this printed at the bottom:
Tuesday night at small group, "D" shared how God seems to be highlighting it for him. Sunday morning before church he was reading it quietly to himself. A friend walked up and said he had a verse for D. It was Zephaniah 3:17--the very thing that D had just been reading!
I remember now that D also read it out to the rest of us later that morning during the church service. At the time I thought it was encouraging, but then I forgot about it.
This morning when I woke up at 3:30 am and couldn't go back to sleep I decided to write down all the things I was worried about. As I was writing in my journal I looked over at the facing page and saw this printed at the bottom:
"The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:17
hmm... I think God is trying to tell me something.
I sure have needed God to quiet my worry filled thoughts. But how? What does it mean that he will quiet me with His love? I think it starts with remembering and trusting that He loves me and that I can trust Him with the things I am worried about.
Any other ideas out there?
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Who's Calling Please?
"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it."(Hebrews 13:2)I read this verse yesterday and it reminded me of my crabby way of answering the phone Monday. (See "Midnight Musings").
I don't know if I've ever gotten a call from an angel. But I do get calls from strangers. In fact since we don't have caller ID everyone qualifies.
God please help me to answer as if each caller could be an angel. They are at least people for whom you died.
Unless it's a recording. I don't have to be nice to those! :-)
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Midnight Musings
Today I was such a crab. I used to hate it when my Mom turned on her sweet voice to answer the phone even while in the middle of scolding me. I always thought it was so hypocritical. I promised myself I would never do that.
But today I started thinking I need to work on my "sweet voice".
I got two important calls and both times I answered sounding like a grouch. Sigh.
And that was after I read an article by Vincent M. Newfield about being a sweet fragrance (2 Corinthians 2:14, 15)
Lord please forgive me for the times my attitude gives off a bad smell instead of a sweet frangrance. Thank you for helping me to get better as I went along.
But today I started thinking I need to work on my "sweet voice".
I got two important calls and both times I answered sounding like a grouch. Sigh.
And that was after I read an article by Vincent M. Newfield about being a sweet fragrance (2 Corinthians 2:14, 15)
Lord please forgive me for the times my attitude gives off a bad smell instead of a sweet frangrance. Thank you for helping me to get better as I went along.
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