Communion is coming this Sunday. We only have it once a month at our church.
Ever since my celiac diagnosis I have wrestled with what exactly the elements mean. How can I really experience communion as it is meant to be if I can only have a tiny crumb of the bread? I usually break off a tiny crumb and give the rest to my husband. One doctor said that would be ok. Another has said not even that much. I have thought about taking my own gluten free cracker. But it doesn't feel like it would be the same. To eat something different from what the others are eating seems like it somehow goes against the idea. And I admit there is a bit of self centered embarrassment--"what will people think??" Of course since the bread our church uses is not the same as what other churches use I can just pretend I'm in another church or something.
I'm not trying to be flippant here. It really matters to me. And it grieves me that I can't take the bread like everyone else. I try to spend the time focusing on Jesus and what he did for me on the cross. Feasting on Jesus in my heart is more important than how much bread I do or don't eat. But even that is often difficult. The time given to that portion of the communion time is very brief. It feels more like a "gobble, gulp and go" fast food experience than a communion. Also it seems sometimes that the focus is so much on teaching us what the communion bread and juice are NOT that, for me, it takes away from what they ARE.
With that in mind I read John chapter 6 starting in verse 25 yesterday looking for more clues as to what Jesus meant when he spoke of being the Bread of Life.
After careful reading, I started to think that here he is primarily teaching about salvation and our need for faith in Him as our Savior. Though verse 51 says that "this bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world" so he did certainly allude to his crucifixion.
But mostly He seems to be using the analogy of bread and water to illustrate spiritual truths. Just as our bodies need physical nourishment and hydration to live so our spirit has needs.
He clearly says that he is the only one who can meet the needs of our spirit and give us life. When we come to him and believe in Him and abide in him, then He becomes our spiritual nourishment and hydration (to return to the physical analogy).
Just as our spirits are eternal and will live or die eternally he is the eternal nourishment we need. Food and hydration only meet our body's needs temporarily. But he meets our spirit's needs eternally and gives us eternal life.
So what about the Communion bread? There are lots of views and doctrinal positions on what the elements mean or become or don't become. I was always taught there were only two positions on that. But based on my, admittedly superficial, research I have concluded that there are many more than that. Or at least many variations on that--almost as many as there are denominations. I suspect even within a given denomination or individual church there are many more shades of feeling and belief. It seems to me that where we are on the doctrinal continuum from the "it becomes the literal body and blood of Christ" all the way to the "it's just a symbol" or even the one I discovered yesterday on wikipedia that says "it's not even meant for the church today because it comes from a Jewish tradition" is not as important as our faith in Christ Jesus and his atoning work on the cross.
Whatever we believe the elements to be or mean when we take them, or don't, we should be focused on thankfulness to God for His Son and the atonement and all that that means.
God please prepare my heart for communion this Sunday.
Friday, September 4, 2015
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Love this Hymn
I'm still digitizing my cassette tapes. Mostly I'm doing sermons and other personal events. I also have done a little music if I can't find a song on Itunes and it is a particular favorite.
This hymn "Day by Day" is one of my favorites from "Evie Hymns." I was planning to attach the mp3 file from my tape here. But I found a clearer and more complete version on youtube sung by Jessica Wu. (see link below)
It seems appropriate for today especially as I struggle to trust God with my foot trouble (see prev. post) Though that seems terribly trivial in light of the author's trials.
This song was written in Swedish by Lina Sandell, circa 1865, and translated by A.L. Skoog. According to Wikipedia, some of her early hymns were inspired as she poured out her broken heart to God after a tragic boating accident in which she saw her father drown. She was 26 at the time. This hymn was written seven years later.
Day by Day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpOvYdFjbR0&list=RDP5DXzz-eECI&index=3
Note: the word "fain" in the second stanza means: desirous, willing, pleased
This hymn "Day by Day" is one of my favorites from "Evie Hymns." I was planning to attach the mp3 file from my tape here. But I found a clearer and more complete version on youtube sung by Jessica Wu. (see link below)
It seems appropriate for today especially as I struggle to trust God with my foot trouble (see prev. post) Though that seems terribly trivial in light of the author's trials.
This song was written in Swedish by Lina Sandell, circa 1865, and translated by A.L. Skoog. According to Wikipedia, some of her early hymns were inspired as she poured out her broken heart to God after a tragic boating accident in which she saw her father drown. She was 26 at the time. This hymn was written seven years later.
Day by Day
|
Day by day, and with each passing
moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here; Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment, I’ve no cause for worry or for fear. He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure, Gives unto each day what He deems best, Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure, Mingling toil with peace and rest. |
|
Every day the Lord Himself is near
me,
With a special mercy for each hour; All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me, He whose name is Counsellor and Pow’r. The protection of His child and treasure Is a charge that on Himself He laid; “As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,” This the pledge to me He made. |
|
Help me then, in every
tribulation,
So to trust Thy promises, O Lord, That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation, Offered me within Thy holy Word. Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting, E’er to take, as from a father’s hand, One by one, the days, the moments fleeting, Till with Christ the Lord I stand. |
| here is the link to it on youtube | |||||
Note: the word "fain" in the second stanza means: desirous, willing, pleased
Pick up your feet!
I hurt my foot again last night. Just when it seemed to be getting better from the last two times. And just before we are scheduled to go on vacation!
I jammed it on my nice new extra thick kitchen fatigue mat. I recently bought it with birthday money to protect my feet from injury while standing at my kitchen counter!
I’m trying to have a good attitude and not worry. Will this mean another year of being nearly crippled? Will it ruin our trip? How could I have been so stupid? When will I ever learn to pick up my feet when I walk? Do I have Parkinsons or something? Maybe that’s why I trip so easily. It is in my family. I was really worried about that until I remembered that I have always been clumsy. I could trip and fall on a wrinkle in the carpet or even nothing at all. As a kid I remember running down the hall and suddenly tripping for no reason. You would think my feet were several inches too long. But in fact they are on the small side of average.
I’m trying to think healing thoughts and not call myself names like “stupid clutz”. After all my parents never did. Well at least they didn’t add the word “stupid”. That’s something to be thankful for. But they did tell me repeatedly to, “pick up your feet when you walk!” You would think that by now I would have learned.
At least I can still use my hands. I’m sorting through receipts and separating out the ones that need shredding. I realized a few days ago that we were keeping most receipts a lot longer than necessary. It’s a small thing, but every little bit helps.
I jammed it on my nice new extra thick kitchen fatigue mat. I recently bought it with birthday money to protect my feet from injury while standing at my kitchen counter!
I’m trying to have a good attitude and not worry. Will this mean another year of being nearly crippled? Will it ruin our trip? How could I have been so stupid? When will I ever learn to pick up my feet when I walk? Do I have Parkinsons or something? Maybe that’s why I trip so easily. It is in my family. I was really worried about that until I remembered that I have always been clumsy. I could trip and fall on a wrinkle in the carpet or even nothing at all. As a kid I remember running down the hall and suddenly tripping for no reason. You would think my feet were several inches too long. But in fact they are on the small side of average.
I’m trying to think healing thoughts and not call myself names like “stupid clutz”. After all my parents never did. Well at least they didn’t add the word “stupid”. That’s something to be thankful for. But they did tell me repeatedly to, “pick up your feet when you walk!” You would think that by now I would have learned.
At least I can still use my hands. I’m sorting through receipts and separating out the ones that need shredding. I realized a few days ago that we were keeping most receipts a lot longer than necessary. It’s a small thing, but every little bit helps.
Monday, August 31, 2015
My Bicycle And I
Last week when I was sorting through my Mom's old papers I discovered this poem she wrote in school. (I'm guessing it was around 1950, she didn't date her school papers.) I liked it so much I took it with me to read to her when I went to see her Thursday.
I told her I found a poem that I wanted to read to her. She wanted to know who wrote it, but I wouldn't tell her until after I read it to her. I hoped I could get her to say she liked it before telling her who wrote it. I didn't think she would admit to liking it after I told her that she had written it. As soon as I finished she asked again who wrote it. I asked if she liked it. She asked if I had written it. I said, "No, I didn't write it". But, "Did you like it?" She finally said yes, rather reluctantly. "Who wrote it?" she asked again. I told her she did. She didn't believe me until I showed her the paper with her "by line" on it. Her final comment was that she "never really liked poetry very much."
Well, anyway, I think it's charming:
My Bicycle And I
by --E. J.
My bicycle and I,
Go sailing down the road,
When the sun is in the sky,
Or when the weather's very cold.
Long shadows from the trees,
Cross our path way.
Wafted on the breeze,
Comes the fragrance of the hay.
The fragrance of the flowers
Is wafted to my nose,
As I pass many rosy bowers,
Among the flowers it makes me want to dose.
I told her I found a poem that I wanted to read to her. She wanted to know who wrote it, but I wouldn't tell her until after I read it to her. I hoped I could get her to say she liked it before telling her who wrote it. I didn't think she would admit to liking it after I told her that she had written it. As soon as I finished she asked again who wrote it. I asked if she liked it. She asked if I had written it. I said, "No, I didn't write it". But, "Did you like it?" She finally said yes, rather reluctantly. "Who wrote it?" she asked again. I told her she did. She didn't believe me until I showed her the paper with her "by line" on it. Her final comment was that she "never really liked poetry very much."
Well, anyway, I think it's charming:
My Bicycle And I
by --E. J.
My bicycle and I,
Go sailing down the road,
When the sun is in the sky,
Or when the weather's very cold.
Long shadows from the trees,
Cross our path way.
Wafted on the breeze,
Comes the fragrance of the hay.
The fragrance of the flowers
Is wafted to my nose,
As I pass many rosy bowers,
Among the flowers it makes me want to dose.
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Saving Sermon Notes...What Would Jesus Do?*
I just spent two hours sorting a two inch stack of sermon notes from the last five years. My brilliant idea was that I could scan them and discard the paper. That would free up more space on my book case. Then each Sunday I could scan that Sunday’s sermon notes, thus preventing me from ever accumulating another such pile.
I don't usually read them again. But it seems like a good thing to do, to keep them. After all, I might write an article or give a talk and need them. I confess, though that I have no idea how I will ever find a particular bit of info in them.
Then I read the user guide for my HP printer/scanner and discovered that because most of them are two sided I won’t be able to use the ADF to feed them through the scanner. Each one will need to be placed on the platen one at a time. That’s not going to happen!
So, I have some choices. I can keep these and continue mindlessly collecting sermon notes each week. At the rate of two inches per five years that means that in 30 years when I am too old and infirm to keep on or too mature to continue such foolishness I will have accumulated 12 more inches of sermon notes. It would take at least two thirds of one shelf on my book case.
I could put this lot back on my book case in its magazine box. Then starting tomorrow I could scan each Sunday’s notes. Scanning one at a time doesn’t seem so bad.
Or I could keep these in hopes that we will eventually buy a duplex document scanner like J has talked about recently. And meanwhile start scanning each Sunday’s notes to prevent further buildup.
Or, I can declare freedom, chuck these in the recycle bin, and be done with it.
I did that once before come to think of it. It must have been in 2010, since this collection starts in April of that year.
And actually, I have never missed them. Not once. I have never thought, “if only I had kept the sermon notes from February 20, 2008!” Or any other date. In fact I’d say my spiritual life has not suffered one iota.
Hmm…could it be that if I do that again the results will be the same?
I just spoke to my friend C about it. She assured me I should not feel guilty at all about getting rid of them. She did think, though, that maybe I should feel at least a little guilty that I don’t usually read them again! What a friend.
*to answer the question, since Jesus did not have anywhere to lay his head, he probably would not have saved them. But then he only ever had one robe and a pair of sandals, so I'm not sure it's a fair comparison.
I don't usually read them again. But it seems like a good thing to do, to keep them. After all, I might write an article or give a talk and need them. I confess, though that I have no idea how I will ever find a particular bit of info in them.
Then I read the user guide for my HP printer/scanner and discovered that because most of them are two sided I won’t be able to use the ADF to feed them through the scanner. Each one will need to be placed on the platen one at a time. That’s not going to happen!
So, I have some choices. I can keep these and continue mindlessly collecting sermon notes each week. At the rate of two inches per five years that means that in 30 years when I am too old and infirm to keep on or too mature to continue such foolishness I will have accumulated 12 more inches of sermon notes. It would take at least two thirds of one shelf on my book case.
I could put this lot back on my book case in its magazine box. Then starting tomorrow I could scan each Sunday’s notes. Scanning one at a time doesn’t seem so bad.
Or I could keep these in hopes that we will eventually buy a duplex document scanner like J has talked about recently. And meanwhile start scanning each Sunday’s notes to prevent further buildup.
Or, I can declare freedom, chuck these in the recycle bin, and be done with it.
I did that once before come to think of it. It must have been in 2010, since this collection starts in April of that year.
And actually, I have never missed them. Not once. I have never thought, “if only I had kept the sermon notes from February 20, 2008!” Or any other date. In fact I’d say my spiritual life has not suffered one iota.
Hmm…could it be that if I do that again the results will be the same?
I just spoke to my friend C about it. She assured me I should not feel guilty at all about getting rid of them. She did think, though, that maybe I should feel at least a little guilty that I don’t usually read them again! What a friend.
*to answer the question, since Jesus did not have anywhere to lay his head, he probably would not have saved them. But then he only ever had one robe and a pair of sandals, so I'm not sure it's a fair comparison.
Friday, August 7, 2015
accepting limits and limiting books
Decided I would take the afternoon off and just do something fun, no pressure, no guilt. So just as I was settling down to enjoy my book and a cup of tea I started to feel inspired to write something in my blog. What is it about removing pressure and guilt that suddenly makes me feel more energetic? I notice tho that it did not make me want to tackle the bills or opening mail or any of the rest of my more onerous to-dos I've been procrastinating.
I did do some downsizing this week. Made a big dent on my bookcase. I suspect I could make more progress if I tried. Had a discussion with J recently. I said I want a china cabinet to display the antique china I got from his Mum last year. He wondered where we would put it. I said if he would get rid of some of his books that might help. (He has way more books than I do!)
The next day, in the interest of fairness, I thought I should see if I could get rid of some of my books. I knew there were a few I could get rid of. I collected quite a stack fairly quickly but it did not seem to make much difference. Then I got curious about three large three-ring binders on the top shelf. They looked so large and impressive I was sure they must be important but could not remember what was in them. Quite surprised to discover how useless and out of date they were. One was a weekly planner from a few years ago. I did not even remember ever using that format. But there it was. I found myself feeling guilty that I am not that organized anymore. Wondered if I should start keeping one like that again. But I was mostly aware of a sense of heaviness as I looked through it. It was from the early months of caring for my Mom in our home. I wondered if I should keep it. What if I want to write a book about that some time? But the heaviness got heavier and I felt like I just wanted to heave it into the recycle bin ASAP. So that's what I did. It was a nice feeling. I did take some photos of it first. Also retrieved a few paper clips --waste not want not ! :)
After that I made more progress. It seemed to clear my thinking and I saw things with new eyes. I removed 32 inches of books. I only have 25 inches of free shelf space to show for it, though, because I had a lot books riding piggy back on top of other books.
Not all easy decisions. I confess one book snuck back since then. I need to get them out of the house before any more do.
Sandra Felton in her book "How not to be a Messy" said it's about accepting our limits, better yet, she said we need to set our own limits. "As long as we try to be everything we admire, we just muddle ourselves down in confusion." Yes the book of ribbon embroidery does have pretty pictures, but I have not done any ribbon embroidery since 2007 and I'm not likely to do any more in the near future, if ever. When or if I ever want to do it again I can find a pattern then. Meanwhile I'll have more space for what I am interested in now and someone else can enjoy the book. The afghan patterns were easier. I'm not likely to ever crochet any more afghans. My hands aren't really up to that much repetitive strain. The one time I did crochet a baby afghan for a friend, in about 1987, my tension was so far off that it turned out more of a trapezoid than a rectangle.
I wonder if I should cull more? There are several books I haven't read. Even books about writing and care-giving, if I never read them, are not worth keeping. Why guilt myself into keeping them just because I paid money for them and really "ought" to have read them; or someone gave them to me so I ought to keep them. It reminds me of a current fad in downsizing called the KonMari method. It's about only keeping items that "spark joy" in your life. By that measure if an unread book sparks joy in me then I should keep it.
Maybe I need to get the book about the KonMari method...
And that ribbon embroidery book sort of gave me joy (with only a little guilt) when I looked at it...
And it's very thin...
I did do some downsizing this week. Made a big dent on my bookcase. I suspect I could make more progress if I tried. Had a discussion with J recently. I said I want a china cabinet to display the antique china I got from his Mum last year. He wondered where we would put it. I said if he would get rid of some of his books that might help. (He has way more books than I do!)
The next day, in the interest of fairness, I thought I should see if I could get rid of some of my books. I knew there were a few I could get rid of. I collected quite a stack fairly quickly but it did not seem to make much difference. Then I got curious about three large three-ring binders on the top shelf. They looked so large and impressive I was sure they must be important but could not remember what was in them. Quite surprised to discover how useless and out of date they were. One was a weekly planner from a few years ago. I did not even remember ever using that format. But there it was. I found myself feeling guilty that I am not that organized anymore. Wondered if I should start keeping one like that again. But I was mostly aware of a sense of heaviness as I looked through it. It was from the early months of caring for my Mom in our home. I wondered if I should keep it. What if I want to write a book about that some time? But the heaviness got heavier and I felt like I just wanted to heave it into the recycle bin ASAP. So that's what I did. It was a nice feeling. I did take some photos of it first. Also retrieved a few paper clips --waste not want not ! :)
After that I made more progress. It seemed to clear my thinking and I saw things with new eyes. I removed 32 inches of books. I only have 25 inches of free shelf space to show for it, though, because I had a lot books riding piggy back on top of other books.
Not all easy decisions. I confess one book snuck back since then. I need to get them out of the house before any more do.
Sandra Felton in her book "How not to be a Messy" said it's about accepting our limits, better yet, she said we need to set our own limits. "As long as we try to be everything we admire, we just muddle ourselves down in confusion." Yes the book of ribbon embroidery does have pretty pictures, but I have not done any ribbon embroidery since 2007 and I'm not likely to do any more in the near future, if ever. When or if I ever want to do it again I can find a pattern then. Meanwhile I'll have more space for what I am interested in now and someone else can enjoy the book. The afghan patterns were easier. I'm not likely to ever crochet any more afghans. My hands aren't really up to that much repetitive strain. The one time I did crochet a baby afghan for a friend, in about 1987, my tension was so far off that it turned out more of a trapezoid than a rectangle.
I wonder if I should cull more? There are several books I haven't read. Even books about writing and care-giving, if I never read them, are not worth keeping. Why guilt myself into keeping them just because I paid money for them and really "ought" to have read them; or someone gave them to me so I ought to keep them. It reminds me of a current fad in downsizing called the KonMari method. It's about only keeping items that "spark joy" in your life. By that measure if an unread book sparks joy in me then I should keep it.
Maybe I need to get the book about the KonMari method...
And that ribbon embroidery book sort of gave me joy (with only a little guilt) when I looked at it...
And it's very thin...
Monday, July 27, 2015
12 cassettes down
Digitized 12 cassette tapes so far. Almost half way through the most important ones. There are dozens more I could do but not sure it's worth it. My husband said it would be nice to have some of them digitized too. I was not amused. Tempted to tell him if he wants them done he can do them himself. Got to thinking this morning tho' maybe I could use it as leverage: "If I digitize these tapes then I expect you to go through those boxes; or scan those slides; or get rid of X number of books!"
I finally listened to my Grandfather's "memorial" service. It was nothing like I remembered--(I really was there, I guess my sadness at the time clouded my memories. And it was 24 years ago!) It was more of a celebration and a good old fashioned hymn sing, complete with clapping! Started with the hymn, "When we all get to heaven," followed by "What a day that will be". Why don't we ever sing those songs anymore?
The sermon was beautiful hope-filled thoughts from Rev 21:1-7 about what will happen when God makes everything new. No more tears, pain or death! And "God himself will be with them and be their God".
Hard to feel sad after that. I'm glad I listened to it*. Especially since I found out a few hours later that my Father-in-law had passed away. We knew it was coming. I'm glad my husband was able to get to Australia in time to see him at the end. We are most thankful, tho', that Dad had long ago trusted in Christ as his Savior and really walked with God ever since. We trust that he is no longer suffering. He is in a much better place. And we will see him again.
* good thing I enjoyed it because I bungled it and have to do it over again. I'm "learning by doing" (as any good Cal Poly Alum should :-) ).
I finally listened to my Grandfather's "memorial" service. It was nothing like I remembered--(I really was there, I guess my sadness at the time clouded my memories. And it was 24 years ago!) It was more of a celebration and a good old fashioned hymn sing, complete with clapping! Started with the hymn, "When we all get to heaven," followed by "What a day that will be". Why don't we ever sing those songs anymore?
The sermon was beautiful hope-filled thoughts from Rev 21:1-7 about what will happen when God makes everything new. No more tears, pain or death! And "God himself will be with them and be their God".
Hard to feel sad after that. I'm glad I listened to it*. Especially since I found out a few hours later that my Father-in-law had passed away. We knew it was coming. I'm glad my husband was able to get to Australia in time to see him at the end. We are most thankful, tho', that Dad had long ago trusted in Christ as his Savior and really walked with God ever since. We trust that he is no longer suffering. He is in a much better place. And we will see him again.
* good thing I enjoyed it because I bungled it and have to do it over again. I'm "learning by doing" (as any good Cal Poly Alum should :-) ).
Revelation 21:1-7 (NIV)
"Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”5 He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
6 He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. 7 Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children."
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